Feminine Familiar
Grimalkin
0626.2013
There are two means of refuge from the misery of life — music and cats.
Albert Schweitzer
_______
When I was young, I crept—
silver and sinuous beneath the sun,
my backbone curving softly
in a meandering sway,
swinging to and fro without concern.
My mother taught me:
survival is a shifting thing—
a dance of swift arrangements
that play across the feet
like toccata and fugue.
And time, she said, is a virtue.
The trees would gather me in their hands,
lifting me to their green embrace,
where I would drape,
lazy in their arms—
then sleep,
and the day would vanish,
sunlight dusting my pelt,
warming my quickly aging skeleton.
I made friends with sparrows and doves,
studied their strategy and society
until they grew familiar—
comfortable in my presence.
And when I had to finish one (regretfully),
I gave thanks for their life,
careful not to desecrate
the delicate wings and breast—
burnishing their bones ivory
beneath my tongue.
Now I bask, wearier, dreaming—
of balled silk in a basket
on my mistress’s rocking chair,
of buttermilk in autumn light,
of human hands that fussed
over my coat
which thickens at the scent of snow.
(And I could speak of my fur—
its purpose and promise,
its calm, its serenity,
its gentle withdrawal from need—
and of the machine in my throat,
its contented hum
as fingers dance upon it.)
I remember the handsome Tom
who sat upon my windowsill,
and my six children
fastened to my belly,
their paws kneading
the milk into motion.
I remember
the hurried hunt—
a mouse, a lizard—
tokens of affection,
placed with reverence
at my mistress’s feet.
Now, these days—
some fire in my gilded eyes
dims, day by day.
My stance trembles.
I fall,
left or right—
a towel laid gently
to soften the landing
of bones tired and frail.
There is a temperate quietness.
And shameless, with indignant grace,
I nearly breathe my last—
until my eyes spark
just one more time.
And though humanized,
I am not human—
(as if I wish to be).
In all sincerity:
a cat.
m.c.f.
Originally written 06.26.13, posted April 11, 2025 at 9:36am PST
Photo 2011 · “Sienna” · Marni Fraser
